Moms, we certainly pile a lot on our plate. And oftentimes the stuff on our plate is not even our own and therefore we get pulled in so many different directions, causing us to become overwhelmed, anxious, or even depressed. On Career Central – The Podcast, guest Pamela Henrie shares how we can carve out some needed time for ourselves through journaling.
Pamela Henrie is the owner of The Success Choice and strives to give women the tools and inspiration to choose joy in their journey through her Success Choice Planner. Inspired by Psalm 46:10 – “Be still, and know that I am God”, Pamela knows firsthand how easy it is for us to get stuck into all the chaos and noise that impacts our lives. But also realizes that once we take a second to pause, we will realize that God is in control.
The beauty of journaling allows us to measure ourselves against ourselves, instead of measuring against others. With Pam’s Success Choice Planner women can focus on filling our needs. Each planner has a theme focused on positivity and inspiration, goal-setting tools to help you work toward things that are meaningful, an end of week or month evaluation to help you chart your progress, celebrate successes, and learn from mistakes so you are only measuring yourself against yourself and your potential. Now I know what you must be thinking, how the heck will I find time to write in a journal. Well according to Pamela, the easiest way to carve out time to start journaling is to connect it to something that is already part of our routine. For example, after you eat breakfast, then you take 10 to 15 minutes to journal. The more you do this then journal will become part of your intentional routine, a ritual that begins to pull at you, but in a positive way.
As Christian moms we called to serve others, but we need to learn how to also serve ourselves. So remember to Pause. Reflect. Write.
Below is the transcript for this podcast episode with Pamela Henrie:
[00:00:00] Pamela: [00:00:00] Hello, all you beautiful
[00:00:03] Jen: [00:00:03] mamas. I am career coach Jen,
[00:00:05] Pamela: [00:00:05] and welcome
[00:00:06] Jen: [00:00:06] to career central, the podcast. This is a place for career advice for working Christian moms. Hey, I know you’re busy.
[00:00:14] Pamela: [00:00:14] You’ve got a lot going
[00:00:15] Jen: [00:00:15] on with your day job and you were busy with your church
congregation and then at the bomb
[00:00:20] Pamela: [00:00:20] element and no wonder
[00:00:22] Jen: [00:00:22] life could be nuts, right?
[00:00:24] Hey, as your career coach, I know firsthand how busy life could be. And yet through the busy, they’re all beautiful moments where we see the hand of God in
[00:00:34] Pamela: [00:00:34] all areas
[00:00:35] Jen: [00:00:35] of our lives.
[00:00:37] Pamela: [00:00:37] So mamas
[00:00:38] Jen: [00:00:38] let’s talk, let’s get into the details, what it takes to build a great career and also embrace Christianity
[00:00:46] Pamela: [00:00:46] above life.
[00:00:47] Jen: [00:00:47] And that’s what I’m here for with career central, I’m on a mission to help you, you working Christian bonds build great careers without the mom [00:00:56] Pamela: [00:00:56] guilt.
[00:00:58] Jen: [00:00:58] Okay. My friends. So before we get [00:01:00] started, I’m going to tell you a little bit about my guest.
[00:01:02] Pamela: [00:01:02] So Pamela
[00:01:03] Jen: [00:01:03] Henry is the owner of the success choice and strives to give women the tools and inspiration to choose joy in their journey, through her success choice planner, choosing joy in the journey, journal, workshops, and trainings.
[00:01:18] The success choice planner has been featured in magazines and is used by women.
[00:01:22] Pamela: [00:01:22] And some men
[00:01:23] Jen: [00:01:23] in all 50 States, the UK, Australia, Canada, and Europe, Pamela also regularly writes for the daily Herald in her column. Choosing success. Pamela is passionate about improving herself and her world and inspiring others to do the same.
[00:01:40] She and her husband have been married for. For 19 years and have a, his mind and ours family with six kids
[00:01:48] Pamela: [00:01:48] total. Whew. What a busy life,
[00:01:51] Jen: [00:01:51] Pam, thank you so much saying yeah, totally. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for coming on career central today.
[00:01:57] Pamela: [00:01:57] Thank you for having me.
[00:01:58] Jen: [00:01:58] It’s great to have you on [00:02:00] for sure.
[00:02:00] So before we get into talking about all this juicy stuff about journaling and planners and all that stuff, cause that I’ve loved that. I just love
[00:02:07] Pamela: [00:02:07] this stuff. Anyhow.
[00:02:08] Jen: [00:02:08] Before we get into it, let’s hear about your favorite scripture
what’s resonating with your heart.
[00:02:14] Pamela: [00:02:14] Well, it’s just a little bit of a preface for the scripture.
[00:02:17] Several years ago, after my divorce, I was just 26. I had a little boy. I was trying to go to school full-time and work and take care of my son and. I was really feeling quite overwhelmed and almost like, you know, I just can’t do this. And that day I went out to get my mail and I happened to get a church magazine in the mail.
[00:02:35] And in there I was reading about the story of when Peter was walking out to Christ and then he took his eye off of Christ when the winds came up and he started to sink. And at that time, the scripture came into my mind, be still and know that I am God and I realized. I have been focusing on the storm.
[00:02:56] And I was thinking because I was focusing on the [00:03:00] storm and I was focusing on all these problems and hardships in my life and that I needed to take my focus back to Christ. And I just felt this calm. And so this scripture has always been, you know, just my calming. And so in my workshops, I like to do this pause, reflect and write session.
[00:03:19] So in my pause, I’d like to do this mantra and I’ve done this for years where I do. You still know that I am God be still and know that I am be still and know, be still. And so to me, this helps me center a little bit and being still, and just being, and being able to focus and, you know, do the reflect, like in my planner, I have each of my areas of balance.
[00:03:46] I like to reflect on each of those areas, but with God, is the center. And then being able to write. So to me, that scripture has been, cause I am a very go, go, go, go, go. Do, do, do, do, do you know, I’ve been [00:04:00] this people, pleaser person trying to do everything for everyone. And when I can take that time and just do that, pause, reflect, and then write, you know, write my planner, write my journal with that being centered.
[00:04:12] That helps me stay centered.
[00:04:14] Jen: [00:04:14] Oh, I love that. I love it. So I don’t know if you know this or not, but. Psalm 46. 10 is my favorite scripture too.
[00:04:21] Pamela: [00:04:21] I saw that it was almost isle. Maybe we should do something different, but then I thought, no. This is still my favorite scripture, so I still am going to do it.
[00:04:30] Jen: [00:04:30] Yeah.
[00:04:31] I’m glad. I’m so glad that you brought it
[00:04:33] Pamela: [00:04:33] and that’s a
[00:04:33] Jen: [00:04:33] really lovely way to think about the reverse of it, you know, so be still
[00:04:38] Pamela: [00:04:38] and know that I am
[00:04:38] Jen: [00:04:38] God, and then she’d take off those different pieces and that, I love that. So thank you for sharing that and adding that that’s really, it’s really delicious to my soul to hear that kind of stuff.
[00:04:48] Pamela: [00:04:48] Because when I think
[00:04:50] Jen: [00:04:50] about how you brought up this idea of. Slowing down,
[00:04:56] Pamela: [00:04:56] having
[00:04:56] Jen: [00:04:56] that reflection time, you know, the journaling, the planning, you [00:05:00] know, all those kinds of pieces that go into it as
[00:05:02] Pamela: [00:05:02] well.
[00:05:03] Jen: [00:05:03] To me, I think that for working moms, like we’ve got some [00:05:07] Pamela: [00:05:07] stuff that’s
[00:05:08] Jen: [00:05:08] on our plates, right? I mean, like there’s too much.
[00:05:12] And unfortunately, or fortunately we do it to ourselves. Right. We put it on our plates, you know? And so it’s a little bit ridiculous. Right. And I, and I think about many women that I’ve been talking to over the last several months, through all this pandemic COVID time stuff going on, there are a lot of women that are scaling back that they’re recognizing
[00:05:32] Pamela: [00:05:32] that all the things
[00:05:34] Jen: [00:05:34] and the busy and the, whatever, like they’re like that is. [00:05:37] Pamela: [00:05:37] I
[00:05:37] Jen: [00:05:37] gotten out of control. I moved
[00:05:39] Pamela: [00:05:39] way
[00:05:40] Jen: [00:05:40] off to this place of [00:05:42] Pamela: [00:05:42] doing too much and
[00:05:44] Jen: [00:05:44] allowing too much to be on my plate and saying yes to too much. And you just mentioned the people pleaser some of my fingers. Yeah. Giggling. Cause I’m like, Oh, you’re in. Good
[00:05:54] Pamela: [00:05:54] company here because I’m
[00:05:55] Jen: [00:05:55] doing the people pleasing thing too way, too much, you know?
[00:05:58] And so I [00:06:00] appreciate that you brought that up. What are you finding as you’re talking with the women about the busy and the stuff that’s going on, what are hearing these days?
[00:06:09] Pamela: [00:06:09] So it’s interesting. I sent out a survey to all of my customers recently just to kind of see where everyone’s at right now and with COVID, there’s a lot of anxiety going on right now.
[00:06:19] You know, there’s a lot of people really stressing and. And I have talked to people that say, you know, really, I’m not going to all the meetings I used to go to and things. So you would think that. I wouldn’t be so busy, but I feel like I’m so much more busy. And a couple of things is, you know, a lot of times they have family members around more that they didn’t have before.
[00:06:40] You know? So like for my daughter, she goes every other day to school, actually two days a week, Mondays on Wednesdays until noon instead of every day until two 30. And so. You know, she’s around and my husband is now working out of his office and, but then he’ll come up and want things. And so I think [00:07:00] sometimes our schedules aren’t as much or our own sometimes with, you know, a little bit of this change.
[00:07:06] And so for me, I think. It’s so easy if I do skip and I just get up and just start getting into my day and I don’t take that time to pause, reflect and write. I do get sucked into everyone. Else’s everything, because you know, that’s just kind of my nature. Of course, I want to be there for you. And of course I want to help you for here.
[00:07:26] And of course, I can run you to go get this or. Whatever it is. And I just, all of a sudden my day’s over and I didn’t do those most important things. And so I think it’s even more important now than ever when sometimes we have more people under foot, it’s easier to get holed away. And not that those are bad things, but you know, a lot of those things can.
[00:07:49] You know, you don’t have to do, you know, you know, there are things that are more important that you should be doing. And if you do take that time to kind of think, you know, it’s easier to say no to some things, when you are more clear [00:08:00] about this is what I’m about today. This is my most important thing. So in my planner, I do like to write just at the bottom, I will write.
[00:08:09] You know how I want to feel that day and just kind of, kind of my key things, you know, so, you know, today of course I would like to feel confident, you know, or I would like to feel poised you’re, you know, with you, you know, I want to kind of have that in my mind. You know, this is kind of how I want to feel today.
[00:08:23] This is what I want to do. And then at the end of the day, I like to write down what went well today. And so that way I’m kind of focusing on the positives and being more intentional, you know? So a lot of times we can think, Oh, this was horrible. This was horrible. This was horrible. But what went well today, let me pick through this, you know, crazy train day and actually, you know, these things.
[00:08:49] Well, you know, like a while back I was supposed to, it was when my daughter was younger and we were going to go to the zoo and I was going to hurt. My friend was going to come with [00:09:00] her daughter and I was going to drive. And for some reason I think she had something or had to go to the doctor or something.
[00:09:06] So we ended up not going to the zoo that day. And I went and I picked up my son from football and I was driving back. And just as I drove over, just my bumper of my car got past the sidewalk and my car just, it was like somebody slammed on the brakes and I think it was my rear differential or something.
[00:09:25] It was so bad that when we tried to show it to the dealer, they had to tow it backwards because it couldn’t go forward. And I thought, okay, That was a horrible thing that happened, you know, that was stressful and this was going to cost a lot of money, but then I thought we could have been on the freeway going to the zoo.
[00:09:43] It happened in my driveway. I mean, like literally as soon as I drove onto my driveway and it was a convenient place for it to happen, it happened. Wow. You know, so I think that sometimes we can look at, you know, this was a hard thing that [00:10:00] happened, but then we can also look at. Wow, actually, that was quite amazing.
[00:10:05] And I look at that as a positive
[00:10:09] Jen: [00:10:09] for sure. Oh my goodness. That’s so nuts. And especially like that thought of. What can happen to us in our vehicles and with our kids, like, especially as moms, like we have our kids with us a lot, and that potential for something to happen, you know, it was kind of a big deal.
[00:10:25] In fact, that
[00:10:25] Pamela: [00:10:25] reminds
[00:10:26] Jen: [00:10:26] me just the other day I was shopping for shoes. I haven’t gone shoe shopping in forever and I’m like, I need some new shoes. So thankfully my husband was like, sure, go for it and leave me with the kid. Cause I’m like, I can’t take a five-year-old shoe shopping. Like. That’s horrible.
[00:10:40] Right? And so I was there shopping and I have a really hard time keeping my mouth shut when I’m around people. And so I saw this lady who was looking at shoes as well, and she had this adorable seven month old little girl who was in this pink fleecy fuzzy thing. She just looked like a big
[00:10:57] Pamela: [00:10:57] ball of like cotton, candy and majestic. [00:11:00] [00:10:59] Jen: [00:10:59] So
[00:11:02] Pamela: [00:11:02] anyhow, so I was standing there [00:11:03] and
[00:11:03] Jen: [00:11:03] want to try on shoes on like kind of bounce it around and kind of push my feet around to see how do my feet feel the shoes. And I turned to the gallon. I said, okay,
[00:11:11] Pamela: [00:11:11] I’m like, your little one is so
[00:11:13] Jen: [00:11:13] cute. She’s like, Oh, thank you so much, so much.
[00:11:16] Pamela: [00:11:16] And
[00:11:17] Jen: [00:11:17] we’re chatting just for like, I don’t know, maybe 12 seconds or something.
[00:11:20] And then she turns to me and she says, [00:11:22] Pamela: [00:11:22] I
[00:11:23] Jen: [00:11:23] almost got T-boned in my car. In the parking lot. And, and I could see like, she like her, her whole
[00:11:31] Pamela: [00:11:31] body was like
[00:11:32] Jen: [00:11:32] vibrating with this, like,
[00:11:35] Pamela: [00:11:35] you know, like
[00:11:37] Jen: [00:11:37] this. And she’s like, why do people go so stink and fast in the [00:11:41] Pamela: [00:11:41] parking lot? She’s like, why are we,
[00:11:42] Jen: [00:11:42] you know, this is a mall.
[00:11:43] There’s clearly people walking
[00:11:45] Pamela: [00:11:45] around, you know? And
[00:11:46] Jen: [00:11:46] she was just freaking out, you know, about how this had just happened to her. And it was just having one of those moments of like, Well, like, I’m so glad that she could share this with me because here she [00:12:00] was at the store trying to shop at least a seven month old.
[00:12:04] Isn’t a busy five-year-old right. To set her on the floor and she doesn’t go anywhere.
[00:12:07] Pamela: [00:12:07] I just was like, Oh my gosh. And I told her, I said,
[00:12:10] Jen: [00:12:10] that sounds really scary. She’s like it is. And then she said, it’s also scary because I was in a really bad car accident. Where somebody hit me and it affected my back.
[00:12:20] And so she’s like, so I’m really freaking out [00:12:23] Pamela: [00:12:23] about the fact
[00:12:24] Jen: [00:12:24] that I almost got hit again and my baby was in the car, you know, all of these things. And so where I’m going with, this is how you said, as you were serving your customers. The anxiety that’s through the roof for people right now. It’s tough.
[00:12:40] Right. And then we have these moments, these like shocking moments, you know, kind of like your, your car with the rear differential going out, you know, thinking like it’s these moments where it’s kind of
[00:12:50] Pamela: [00:12:50] like,
[00:12:50] Jen: [00:12:50] okay, you know, I’m, what am I doing with this? And yet, you
know, who’s upholding us as the moms.
[00:12:56] Cause I often feel like we’re the ones who have uphold other people and [00:13:00] make things better,
[00:13:01] Pamela: [00:13:01] you know? And [00:13:01] Jen: [00:13:01] it’s nuts.
[00:13:03] Pamela: [00:13:03] Yeah. And that’s where, you know, I think journaling is really good because you can kind of, I think it makes you really think more deeply about things and you can kind of start to think about what you can control.
[00:13:16] Because there are so many things outside of our control right now, and we can just totally get caught up in all of those things. And when I really stop and think, okay, can I do anything about this? Or what can I do about this? You know, is there some little thing that I can do and just doing those little things that you do have control over helps a ton.
[00:13:36] And even if it’s exercising in the morning, you know, you’re taking care of yourself, um, Yeah, I have a, I do a Zumba group and because of COVID for awhile, we did it online, but then they changed it to where we’re doing it outside and they like Tate or painted these Xs on the road so that we’re standing 10 feet apart and we’re wearing masks, [00:14:00] but it’s a routine and we do it.
[00:14:02] And for me, and just having that little bit of social interaction, even though we’re not anywhere near each other, And doing something physical and doing something outside really helps my whole day. And, you know, just having that little thing that I can control. And so I think, you know, the self care and taking care of yourself and getting exercise, spending time to meditate.
[00:14:24] I like to take a bath in the morning and I will read or listen to something inspirational and just. Take a little bit of time to collect myself before I get into some things, whatever it is for you to do that little bit of self care and not to feel selfish about it. Even if it’s 10 to 15 minutes, that you can just kind of spend to yourself or a half an hour.
[00:14:48] And sometimes my husband will even say, well, you don’t have time to do that today. I’m like, honey, I have to do this today. I’ll see you in an hour. I’ll be back. You know, can function so much better for everyone. [00:15:00] When I, you know, I do those little things,
[00:15:02] Jen: [00:15:02] I love that. It’s great.
[00:15:04] Pamela: [00:15:04] But as personal for everyone, you know, what, what is it for
[00:15:07] You know, it’s different for everyone? What is it that recharges you? What is it that rejuvenates you and makes you more available and productive and helpful for other people that
[00:15:17] Jen: [00:15:17] is so lovely. And I’m impressed that you’re
[00:15:19] Pamela: [00:15:19] taking a bath. Good job. That’s great. So we remodeled this house. That’s one of my things is I like to improve myself and I like to improve my surroundings and I really have the goal of improving a neighborhood and fixing up houses.
[00:15:35] We fixed out five different houses now. And. This particular house, you know, it was really in a great neighborhood, but it had been on the market for a year. It had been, so three families have lived in it with 21 kids total. And so it was quite destroyed. And anyways, so we went through a lot of work doing it, but one thing it didn’t have was a bath tub in the master bedroom.
[00:15:59] So it [00:16:00] had a shower and this humongous walk-in closet that you got to from the bathroom. So I asked my husband, I’m like, Can we like make this closet smaller and have it enter from the bedroom and put a bathtub right here. And he’s like, sure. So we did that. That’s how much I love taking a bath in the morning.
[00:16:21] Totally remodeled the bathroom to have a tub because to me, you know, just, it’s just relaxing and it’s kind of when I have little kids. You know, a lot of times that was kind of the only time I could have for myself, you know, how it is, or like sticking their fingers under the doors. And
[00:16:44] I could lock the door and go in there and have just my little bit of time to read to center. And so I just still carry that over. For myself.
[00:16:52] Jen: [00:16:52] Oh, I love
[00:16:53] Pamela: [00:16:53] that, Pam. That is so great.
[00:16:55] Jen: [00:16:55] And every mom who’s listening to this episode right now is envisioning their own kids, little fat fingers [00:17:00] sticking underneath
[00:17:00] Pamela: [00:17:00] the mask.
[00:17:03] Every single kid it’s crazy. And it can not need you all day until you try to spend a
little bit of time for yourself. Right. Exactly.
[00:17:15] Jen: [00:17:15] A friend of mine. She was in the shower. It was, I don’t remember what time of day it was, but it was like somewhere like in the afternoon into the evening. But anyhow, she was in the shower.
[00:17:24] Her husband was sitting on the bed. I don’t know if he was reading or whatever, but she was in the shower. Her, one of her daughters walked
[00:17:31] Pamela: [00:17:31] past her husband.
[00:17:34] Jen: [00:17:34] And went into the bathroom. So again, she’s in the shower, right?
Totally. Like not just in the bathroom,
[00:17:39] Pamela: [00:17:39] but
[00:17:39] Jen: [00:17:39] in the shower. And she says,
[00:17:41] Pamela: [00:17:41] mom,
[00:17:41] Jen: [00:17:41] can you open up my fruit snacks?
[00:17:44] Pamela: [00:17:44] And, uh, you just walked past your dad. Who’s sitting [00:17:50] Jen: [00:17:50] on the
[00:17:50] Pamela: [00:17:50] bed. He is very capable of helping
[00:17:54] Jen: [00:17:54] me. And she’s like, I’m in the shower.
[00:17:59] Pamela: [00:17:59] Yeah. [00:18:00] And then her
[00:18:00] Jen: [00:18:00] husband was like, I can help
[00:18:02] Pamela: [00:18:02] you with the fruit
[00:18:03] Jen: [00:18:03] snacks, honey. Bring it over here. You know? And so, but we just, I
love that example because it’s like go, the kids are just like, uh, Like a
[00:18:12] Pamela: [00:18:12] bug tool lights, you know, like go past
[00:18:15] Jen: [00:18:15] everything else goes straight to mom, which is wonderful too. [00:18:18] Right. We
[00:18:18] Pamela: [00:18:18] want our kids.
[00:18:20] Jen: [00:18:20] Exactly. Absolutely. And then,
[00:18:22] Pamela: [00:18:22] and then let’s teach them. Here’s how you open up the fruit
[00:18:24] Jen: [00:18:24] snacks yourself. Here you go. So funny. I love that. So Pam, let’s talk about your. Planner. So give us the history about how this got started. I’m curious if you had, if you felt like you had any divine nudges around this as well to make it happen.
[00:18:41] So share with us how this all came to
[00:18:43] Pamela: [00:18:43] be when I had first gotten remarried. So we had a, his mine and ours family, as you know, But at this point, well, yeah, I think it was still an hour as I had had my daughter at that point, but I went to like a community women’s meeting once a month and this one happened to be a panel discussion on depression.
[00:19:00] [00:18:59] And there were three women up front and it was a psychologist was kind of emceeing it, you know, a little bit interviewing these women and they were pillars of the community. And then they were talking openly and honestly about their struggles with depression and in the group. You know, with the comments and the tears and the questions.
[00:19:18] It was clear that so many people or some, so many of these women were experiencing the same thing and really struggling with this. And I looked around the room and I realized, you know, I was kind of in that boat as well, you know, just feeling overwhelmed. And there were some common themes of. Know, measuring yourself against perfection or looking at other people’s strengths and your own weaknesses.
[00:19:42] And that was a very common thing is just kind of putting yourself down. And another one is they weren’t feeling fulfilled, you know, and then they were feeling guilty. You know, they’re like, you know, I chose to be a mother, but I’m just watching the same dishes every day. I’m just doing the same laundry.
[00:19:58] It’s only noticed when I don’t do [00:20:00] something. And so. And I had, before I got remarried, I was in a corporate job where, you know, I had a lot of attention and I got a lot of praise and I got a lot of respect and I had these projects that I could do, and I felt like I was growing and they got accomplished and they were making a difference.
[00:20:16] And a lot of times, as a mom, I was feeling like, you know, what do I have to show for at the end of the week? You know, of course, wash laundry and drove kids around for four hours every day. And you know, but what am I having to show for myself? And so I thought, you know, These are, and we are the women raising the next generation.
[00:20:33] And if we’re feeling unfulfilled and unhappy and the crest and you know, what kind of messages are we sharing and how are we raising our next generation? So I thought I am a big reader and I just read book after book, after book. And I just had this impression, how can I help women? Realize how much influence they have and how important they are.
[00:20:58] Because I think a lot of times, [00:21:00] you know, you can kind of look at your friends with big careers and think they’re doing big things. What I’m doing isn’t important. And it is it’s the most important thing. And so I really thought about it for two years, reading book, after book, after book. And finally I came up with this plan or idea.
[00:21:16] And I ran it by my husband and just said, you know, I think if I were to do something, I would do a planner, you know, that had kind of some, you know, that was inspirational and had, you know, some things that they were learning each time and improving and having some self-care where they felt like they were learning and growing and that it would be goal setting so that they could.
[00:21:38] Work on their own projects and feel like, you know, it’s okay to do that. You can have your own goals. You can be a mother, but yes, you can do things and improve yourself and grow, and that it would be reflective where you’re only measuring yourself against yourself. So I haven’t, you know, at the end of a weekly review and a monthly log where you can talk about what’s working well, [00:22:00] what didn’t work well.
[00:22:01] And so you’re measuring yourself against yourself instead of against your neighbor or against perfection. And I would have in there, you know, some things kind of go throughout the month and find some routine things that we need to do in the house, in the yard and weekly, and have eye checklists where they felt like they’re getting credit for those things.
[00:22:18] And they don’t have to think about when they need to do certain things that can all be in there for them. And so I kind of came up, you know, went through all these things with my husband. He’s like, you know, it’s a good idea. You should do it. Oh, no, no, no, I couldn’t do it. You know, he’s like, no, just try it.
[00:22:33] So I kind of made a little template and I gave it to some friends just to try, you know, just tell me what you think. So they would try it for a month and then they’d give me their info. Put, and then I’d make changes and then send it out the next month. You know, now tell me what you think. And then every week I was having people call me and say, Hey, you know, I saw so, and so’s little Tanner, can I try one?
[00:22:51] So then I’m like, okay. So after a few months I had 50 people going, Hey, can I, you know, let me try this planner. You know, so then I [00:23:00] thought, well, maybe I could do this. And I went to, at that time, there was a conference called a successful mothering conference. I thought I’m going to go to this conference.
[00:23:09] So I went and I listened to the different keynote speakers and they were. These big corporations that they had run and different things. And as I went to each one, I kind of was feeling myself, get a little bit smaller and a little bit smaller, you know? And then I thought, you know, all these doubts started coming into my mind of, you know, who am I to do this?
[00:23:29] You know, who am I to tell people or give people advice? Or my life is so imperfect, you know, who am I to do this? And just. This inspiration just came so strong that said, who are you not to do this? This is what you are to do. And all of these women are just women who were willing to put themselves out there and shine their gifts and share their guests and help other [00:24:00] people who are you not to do this?
[00:24:04] So then I thought, okay. I’m going to do this. And at the time, you know, of course I had six children, I super busy and I would create focuses for each month. And I would do tons of reading and reflection and I would bounce ideas off my husband. And as we were going through this combining families and all this craziness.
[00:24:27] Creating this planner and creating those focuses each month, kept us all positively focused because I would bounce ideas off of everyone. What do you think about this? And I would talk about the different books I’d read and, you know, get their opinions on it. And so then everybody was kind of thinking about that focus all month while I was trying to create it.
[00:24:48] And so. I felt that was a blessing in itself just to help us through this transition and keep us not to get, to pull down into the craziness of combining [00:25:00] families and all of that. Oh,
[00:25:02] Jen: [00:25:02] that’s so awesome. I love that. What a great, I got chills up my back. When you said. The how God just whispered to you, like, who are you to not do this?
[00:25:14] Pamela: [00:25:14] come on Tam. You can do this.
[00:25:16] Jen: [00:25:16] That must have felt so uplifting and encouraging to your heart to go and persevere.
[00:25:23] Pamela: [00:25:23] Yeah. Cause I’m quite an interview person. And so to put myself out there, it was like, well, now I can just, but then I thought if I can help anyone. It is worth it. So for me to get emails from people and comments and people to stop me and say, you have no idea what this has done for me, or they’ll send me, cause I’ve been doing this for 12 years now.
[00:25:48] And some people have been using it since then. And they’re like, I’ve been doing,
[00:25:58] you know, I will do this forever. [00:26:00] And thank you so much. And one of the things is, um, You know, just recording your journey, you know, cause you know, some people are really great journal writers and some people aren’t and I’ve had a lot of people say, You know, I’m not a good journal writer. So I felt like I’m not really keeping my personal history, but at the end of the week, I can write down a few things of what happened, you know, in my planner, I can do my end of week review and this is their record keeping.
[00:26:27] This is, you know, being intentional and recording their journey. And so, you know, even if it’s just that little bit.
[00:26:35] Jen: [00:26:35] I love that. That’s so good. And that’s really good point because I think there are a lot of people who are really overwhelmed with journaling. Right. And so, and, and even if you don’t have a planner, like most moms at the very minimum, we’ll have some kind of scrap of paper or something that.
[00:26:50] They’ll jot down some things for the day that they’ve got to get done or something. Right. Like a lot of times we just have something written down a little bit, like the big family calendar that’s on the, you know, the [00:27:00] wall in the kitchen where they’re referencing that or something. Right. Like there’s something that we’re using, but journaling is a whole nother thing.
[00:27:08] That’s a whole nother beast where. If you don’t journal, it’s not going to stop dinner from getting on the table. It’s not going to stop Billy from getting to his violin lesson. You know, like it’s a very personal thing to do that. Now you also have journal products inside your suite of solutions, right?
[00:27:24] So tell us about what you’re doing with the journals
[00:27:26] Pamela: [00:27:26] stuff. So each of the planners each year has kind of a theme, so there’s kind of a create. So all of the planners throughout that year, start with create, you know, create this, this, and then there’s discover. And there’s B and there’s power. So each month has a focus.
[00:27:41] So the journals, there’s a different journal for each year. And of course you can get a journal for any year at any time, but there are journaling prompts in the front of the journals having to do with each of those focuses. So this year is create. And so you can, if you want [00:28:00] know, just write that. Prompt at the top of the page and get you thinking about what to write about.
[00:28:05] And the next year is discovered and I have it so that it’s lined pages on one side and then blank on the other side, because I will take journals with me all the time. Cause I like to take notes where I’m at or write down inspiration as it comes, when I’m driving in my car or whatever I’m doing. I can pull over and write things down because I totally forget it.
[00:28:24] But then later, sometimes I’ll read through that. And then things will come to me. Oh, this is how I need to act on that. Or, Oh, you know, this stood out to me and I can write it on the other side, on the blank side. Or sometimes people will draw on that side or do mind maps or do you know their creative work, you know?
[00:28:42] So. To me, I’m a big note taker. I’m a big write in my books and take notes on what I’m listening to and writing it down because otherwise I forget it. So I love that. So a while back, my son, I went to visit and he does this 10 minute [00:29:00] meditation in the mornings. I come to this medication with me. So I did do that little 10 minute meditation with him.
[00:29:05] And I said, well, let’s start journaling to it at the end. You know, let’s just. Sit down, let’s do a 10 minute meditation if it’s one minute or 10 minutes or however long. And, you know, just having that really focused time was life-changing for me, you know, I just write a prompt at the top of the page and just write.
[00:29:21] And for me, I write for the Herald. And so sometimes it’s hard to keep coming up with ideas, you know, Oh, what am I gonna write about this? You know, but as I’m doing that, Then on the left-hand page, I’ll write down this, this is a potential article idea, or this is a, you know, just, but if I didn’t take that time to think and just reflect and write, you know, those things wouldn’t have come to me.
[00:29:43] So. I think those are the times when inspiration can come to you because you’re allowing yourself to be still just like the scripture, you know, just allow yourself to be still and listen, and then write it down because otherwise it’s gone, you know, just like you say with yours, you know, if you don’t write it [00:30:00] down, It’s gone.
[00:30:01] Jen: [00:30:01] totally. Yeah. It’s absolutely. Absolutely. It’s gone for sure. I have a journal that’s called 3:00 AM with God.
[00:30:08] Pamela: [00:30:08] And so it’s
[00:30:09] Jen: [00:30:09] the intention behind it is when you wake up in the middle of the night and you get that inspiration from God, write it down because you won’t remember. You just, you won’t remember,
[00:30:18] Pamela: [00:30:18] you you’ll wake up in the morning and you kind of go, I think God was
[00:30:21] Jen: [00:30:21] trying to tell me something last night.
[00:30:23] And so, so I’ve had this journal. Out in the world for about two and a half years. And I’m getting some similar feedback as well from people who really appreciate having a place to write down that stuff in that, in that specific journal, because it doesn’t get lost in all of the other journals and the other planners.
[00:30:39] And so it’s really kind of fun to have that all in [00:30:42] Pamela: [00:30:42] one place
[00:30:43] Jen: [00:30:43] for those middle of the night inspirations. And I was talking to somebody. Recently. And she said, the only reason why I write things down is that she’s like, I used to
[00:30:53] Pamela: [00:30:53] get up in the middle of the night having to go pee sometime
[00:30:56] Jen: [00:30:56] around like two 30 to three 30 in the morning.
[00:30:58] And she said, I was all [00:31:00] sorts of mad about it. You know, it’s like, come [00:31:02] Pamela: [00:31:02] on
[00:31:02] Jen: [00:31:02] body, you know? And so she would even stop drinking water for like two hours before going to bed. Cause she wanted to avoid the need to get up and go pee. And then she realized, she said, Oh. Oh, that waking me up in the middle of the night is a way that God is getting my attention to wake me up enough.
[00:31:23] And so, so anyhow, she ended up getting a 3m with God journal [00:31:27] Pamela: [00:31:27] and she keeps
[00:31:27] Jen: [00:31:27] it in the bathroom, which I, I think is brilliant [00:31:31] Pamela: [00:31:31] because in
[00:31:32] Jen: [00:31:32] that time and place. She is that, you [00:31:35] Pamela: [00:31:35] know, so she writes it down and then
[00:31:37] Jen: [00:31:37] she goes back to bed and it’s all good. Right. And then in the morning she can look at it and remember what she wrote
[00:31:42] Pamela: [00:31:42] down.
[00:31:43] Jen: [00:31:43] But what I love about what you’re talking about, about having that
[00:31:46] Pamela: [00:31:46] intentional
[00:31:47] Jen: [00:31:47] pondering time with, like you were saying about having some meditation time and pondering and thinking,
[00:31:53] Pamela: [00:31:53] I think is really,
[00:31:54] Jen: [00:31:54] really valuable. And for us working moms,
[00:31:58] Pamela: [00:31:58] I mean, come [00:32:00] on,
[00:32:00] Jen: [00:32:00] we’ve got so much that’s going on. And I love that you’re bringing that up because it’s important
[00:32:06] Pamela: [00:32:06] that we [00:32:07] Jen: [00:32:07] find time somewhere.
[00:32:08] Pamela: [00:32:08] There’s gotta be 10 minutes, just like, you know, like there’s gotta be somewhere.
[00:32:11] Jen: [00:32:11] We can get some quiet time with just our thoughts to ponder and think about. Whatever it is that we’re writing down in anything, you know, any kind of journal.
[00:32:19] Pamela: [00:32:19] Right. And just pondering
[00:32:20] Jen: [00:32:20] on that. It’s so, so important. What are you hearing from the users
of your journals and your planners about that pondering and thinking time?
[00:32:28] Pamela: [00:32:28] Yeah. So I think something that has come up a lot is that the things that are the most important to us, like exercise and journaling and taking this time to ponder and reflect and read your scriptures and pray and all those things. They’re not things that. Pull at you, you know, it’s like, Your kids can pull at you, you know, your job emails and your whatever can pull at you, but you’re these things that are the most important don’t necessarily pull at you.
[00:32:58] Jen: [00:32:58] Yeah. I [00:33:00] love how it’s so important on this. Again, back to the pondering thing. Right. You know, like making sure that you have that
[00:33:06] Pamela: [00:33:06] little bit of time and,
[00:33:07] Jen: [00:33:07] and I love how you said it’s not something pulling on you. Right? Like if we’re on our computer for, on our phone, we’re getting alerts, we’re getting emails and texts and requests from people.
[00:33:16] And that there’s, that to me adds more to the busy, right. So when I’m trying to do my pondering time, I’m like turn off
[00:33:23] Pamela: [00:33:23] my computer, [00:33:25] Jen: [00:33:25] you know, put my [00:33:25] Pamela: [00:33:25] phone on silent [00:33:27] Jen: [00:33:27] and just.
[00:33:28] Pamela: [00:33:28] Just
[00:33:28] Jen: [00:33:28] try to be
[00:33:29] Pamela: [00:33:29] still and just be quiet for a minute.
[00:33:32] Jen: [00:33:32] And then I love it too. Cause then I feel like I’m getting really good divine downloads from God where he’s like, okay, here’s some things to think about it.
[00:33:38] Here’s some answers to stuff that’s been heavy on your heart, but if I didn’t create that quiet, pondering time,
[00:33:43] Pamela: [00:33:43] You know,
[00:33:44] Jen: [00:33:44] how, how was he going to communicate through the noise?
[00:33:47] Pamela: [00:33:47] Well, and I think that it’s really important to make it a ritual and do it at the same time at the same place, because, you know, I find, and I tell this in my workshops, I’ll say, how many of you exercise regularly?
[00:33:59] And then, you know, a [00:34:00] lot of people raise their hands. And I say, if you exercise regularly, When you don’t exercise, do you miss it? And they’re like, Oh yes. You know, so once it’s become a routine and a habit, it pulls at them. But in the beginning it’s like a push, you know, you’re like making yourself, get up.
[00:34:18] You’re making yourself exercise and you don’t want to do it. And you there’s just a lot of effort that goes into making it become a routine. And I think that’s the same with taking this time to pause and reflect and meditate, do your personal care. You have to make it a routine. You have to set aside a regular time, set aside a regular place and make it be a pull for yourself so that if you don’t do it, you miss it.
[00:34:44] You know, you want to get in there and have that reflection time and because it’s rejuvenating for you and that’s what you need. So I think being intentional about it and making that a routine is. For whatever is important in your life, you know, find a way and to connect [00:35:00] it with something else that you do already regularly.
[00:35:03] That really helps. Like for me, I drop my daughter off at school and then go to the gym and workout, you know, so I would have that routine of I’m already dropping my daughter off. Now I’m going to go work out, you know, so you can do the same thing, you know? I’m eating my breakfast and then I’m going to journal or whatever it is, you know, just kind of link it with something that you already do regularly.
[00:35:24] Then it makes it so much easier to. Associated and I make it happen.
[00:35:28] Jen: [00:35:28] Yeah. I love that. And that’s so great because the thought of you dropping your daughter off, then it’s like, well, if I’m going to go work out, then I need to be my workout clothes before I’d get in the car to drop we’re off. So it’s just part of that.
[00:35:38] It just just moves right on through. So
[00:35:40] Pamela: [00:35:40] I love that. So to make it easier for yourself, you know, have your clothes out, have your journal out, have your planner out, whatever it is, make
[00:35:48] Jen: [00:35:48] it easier for yourself.
[00:35:50] Pamela: [00:35:50] To follow through and do it, and then you’re more likely to do it because I tell my husband, you know, if I don’t have this routine [00:36:00] and I tell myself, Oh, well, I’ll do it later.
[00:36:02] It never happens. You know, if I don’t do it, when I say I’m going to do it, and I think, Oh, I’ll sit that in later, I’m going to go do this thing now. It never happens. So
[00:36:11] Jen: [00:36:11] no, it doesn’t. And I’m convinced that Satan knows that. Right. And so if he can distract us, if he can get
[00:36:17] Pamela: [00:36:17] us busy with too many different things.
[00:36:20] Jen: [00:36:20] And he was like, I look at that. I got her to
[00:36:23] Pamela: [00:36:23] not have that quiet,
[00:36:24] Jen: [00:36:24] pondering time today. So then he knows he’s gets to add more to the frenzy and the crazy that’s going on inside of our hearts and our minds. And then
[00:36:32] Pamela: [00:36:32] we all know that if
[00:36:33] Jen: [00:36:33] mama
[00:36:34] Pamela: [00:36:34] ain’t happy, nobody happened,
[00:36:35] Jen: [00:36:35] you know? And so then it just flows into ripples into the whole household.
[00:36:39] And so Satan, he, he wants us to be distracted. He doesn’t want us to have a routine for good inspirational moments. So,
[00:36:46] Pamela: [00:36:46] and being busy can almost be. Like it hit a little bit, you know? Cause we can feel important. We can feel productive and we can feel needed. And so, you know, that’s kind of our fix a little bit, you know, of being busy cause we’ve just felt like, [00:37:00] Oh look how busy I am.
[00:37:00] You know, I’ve got this, this and this and this. And that’s kind of our badge of honor, you know, look how busy I am, you know? But in reality, you know, you get to the end of the week sometimes and you’re like, okay, sure. I was busy, but. A value. What did I really do this week? That connected really? And so with my planner, I have, you know, eight areas of balance.
[00:37:18] And so I have everybody write down their ideal in each area of balance of, you know, not to make you feel bad, like, Oh no, you know, I’m not never going to be there, but it’s kind of your. Start a guide by, you know, just kind of, if you don’t really know what you ideally want, how are you going to recognize the opportunities or create things in your life or start to set projects or goals or whatever related to that ideal.
[00:37:44] So for me, if I just take a minute and I just, every month, I haven’t, so you just write them down every month, you know, just so that you get in the habit of writing it and, you know, using that other part of your brain and then. You think about it and then you recognize opportunities. [00:38:00] And I just feel like when we’re regularly visiting those things that are truly the most important to us.
[00:38:07] Then we’re just so much happier because you know, we do have, so our slogan is choosing joy in the journey, you know? So it’s all about the journey. It’s not about being perfect now, but it’s about choosing the joy now and doing what we can do and to live intentionally. So it’s, you know, to live with purpose on prepared, to live on purpose with purpose, choosing joy and your journey today.
[00:38:28] So you’re just being intentional. That’s not what you’re doing. I love
[00:38:31] Jen: [00:38:31] that. It’s so good. Oh my gosh, Pam, I feel like we could talk about 1700 other pieces about this stuff. And at one point or another, we’re going to need to kind of wrap this up. Right. And so I guess, as we are pulling this together,
[00:38:43] Pamela: [00:38:43] what [00:38:44] Jen: [00:38:44] would you want?
[00:38:45] These working moms who are listening to this podcast what’s on your heart that you would want to impart to them today?
[00:38:52] Pamela: [00:38:52] So I think, especially with working Christian moms, there’s a big part of us that really is about doing [00:39:00] for other people. And that is so important. And that is our calling, you know, with our work we’re serving other people, usually in our homes are serving other people, but I would also say it’s so important to serve yourself.
[00:39:14] And to do that self care and to nurture yourself and take care of yourself because you truly do have more to give and you truly can be a better parent, a better business owner, a better whatever you’re doing. If you are intentional about taking that time for yourself and. No, just everything we’ve been talking about about taking the time to pause and reflect and write, you know, and just hone in on what’s important to you and take that time and schedule it.
[00:39:42] Get up a little bit earlier if you need to, but take that time.
[00:39:46] Jen: [00:39:46] Love that. Thank you. Thank you for wonderful reminder, for sure. I love that insight of the 3:00 AM with God journal. There’s a bunch of different quotes and stuff. And I, I pulled out a quote that I’m going to share, and I’d love for you to add [00:40:00] your 2 cents to it as well.
[00:40:01] So this is from Shannon elder. She’s a Christian writer and the quote is you will never let go of the one thing that God keeps prompting you to.
[00:40:13] Pamela: [00:40:13] Very interesting.
[00:40:17] We all have our unique gifts and the things that we can benefit others. And I think sometimes the things that come to us are the things that we can do something about. And, you know, maybe it’s something keeps coming to you. It’s something that is important. You know, that you need to maybe write down and figure out things that you need to do.
[00:40:38] I think that that can have a positive or a negative pole, you know? So sometimes we can obsess about things that we want to fix, that we have no control over so we can obsess about that. But I think that when we focus in on what we do have control over. And what our natural talents and gifts are that, you know, how can we be used?
[00:40:57] How can our talents and gifts best be used to fix [00:41:00] something in the world and make something better? Yeah.
[00:41:02] Jen: [00:41:02] Thank you for that. I appreciate those additional thoughts, Pam. What’s the number one best way that people can get in touch with you. What’s the easiest way.
[00:41:10] Pamela: [00:41:10] So probably through the website, the success choice.com, there’s a contact us section and it has the contact information there.
[00:41:17] So that would probably be the easiest.
[00:41:19] Jen: [00:41:19] Okay, awesome. That’s wonderful. And you’ve got lots of really cool stuff on your site, so
[00:41:24] Pamela: [00:41:24] there’s [00:41:24] some
[00:41:24] Jen: [00:41:24] really fun things that you’re, that you’re offering there. So thank you for doing it. I appreciate it. And thanks again for coming on career central
[00:41:31] Pamela: [00:41:31] today, it’s been such a joy and fun.
[00:41:35] Thank you so much for having me.
[00:41:37] Jen: [00:41:37] Sure, absolutely. It’s been lovely. And for the listeners, please come on over to . For coach jen.com and get your free gift. It’s called 10 ways to develop better relationships at work. This is my gift to you. Enjoy thank you for listening to career central to your successful and inspired career.